We're a rural hospital, and a lot of our nurses have livestock -- goats, horses, cattle, etc., and one raises Austrailian shepherds that will herd sheep, goats, cows, etc. Chuck loves his dogs, possibly more than his wife and kids. And he tends to refer to his wife as "the old b***h."Chuck calls in, asks for the charge. Says he won't be in, because....
"My b***h is whelping."
Charge: "Your wife is WHAT?!"
Chuck: "No, not my wife, my b***h!"
Charge: "You've got a girlfriend?! Chuck, why are you telling me this?!"
Okay, now the entire nurses station is dead silent and listening. You can actually hear Chuck yelling in the phone.
Chuck: "No, my b***h, my b***h! My b***h's whelping!"
Charge (with a hugely evil smirk on her face): "Chuck, we didn't even know you and Cindy were pregnant!"
Chuck: "It's not my wife, it's my dog!"